Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What is your interpretation of the movie Rocky? What makes it a good film in your opinion?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand how hurricane paths work

How can MeTV Toons compete with other national broadcast TV networks?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for fakery

Why won't my mom let me come home if I'm homeless?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Why do you think it is bad to allow people to self-identify as a different gender?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Are there any real-life examples of prisoners who escaped from hospitals and were never caught?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy bullshit

Single psilocybin trip delivers two years of depression relief for cancer patients - ScienceDaily

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

How to Cut Your Biological Age by Up to 16 Years: Make This Tweak to Your Daily Walk - Inc.com

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I can read

Where can I get sure fixed matches on Instagram?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

D.C. Defenders win UFL title, 58-34 - NBC Sports

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Would Donald Trump's reelection make the world more dangerous?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

What CIA front organizations operated in the United States during the 1960s?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I can count

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What are the most shocking facts about the Bollywood industry?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

‘Peacekeeper’ under investigation for role in Salt Lake City protest shooting - The Salt Lake Tribune

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I actually pay taxes

I don’t cotton to rapists

I see through liars

I have a reading level above third grade

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”